preschool

Tomorrow morning at 8:30 I start my first year of University. I have a class about povery and economics and stuff. One of my best friends from my India trip is in it with me. She came over this afternoon and I made her my masala chai. It was like old times when we lived with a family in India together. So nice.

I feel sort of strange right now. I'm embarking on something sort of big. I've always had my shit fairly together academically, but now I'm working on bringing that to a whole new level. This will mean lots of smiling and being relatively calm. Friendly, unoffensive except under certain circumstances. Tonight wild Kat had a clothes swap. I biked to it and saw old arts house friends. I got some neat new clothes, a few swigs of fireball, and nice company. We biked downtown to the poutine shop in an artsy mob.

I found a purple pleather jacket in the abandoned basement the internet technician needed to go into today. We also got a first season buffy the vampire slayer poster.

I wrote an email to Melody to say hello. It seemed better than running into her and talking for the first time while drunk tomorrow night or something.

it is what it is. I miss something but can't pin point it. I hope I love class.

from the hallway at 4am

I went to sleep at 9:30pm last night and seem to have had enough already. Oops. Having no electricity is like having jet lag.

My power gets turned on in a few hours and I can't wait. It's strange how much this world revolves around lights. I don't mind having no lights when I'm in the woods, but here it's just what it is.

So I'm in Guelph and I'm moving in and sort of getting my shit together. I hung out with Stacey one night and I think it was an alright thing. My feelings for her have greatly subsided and she has little appeal, even as a friend. I think throughout our conversation she began realizing why being best friends might be a bad idea.

I went to Toronto on Friday night and had a hilarious time at my friend's shit show of a birthday celebration. So good. I knew many of her badass friends from previous shindigs so it was cool. One of them I've always thought was super adorable. We have the same sense of humor and she used to live in Alberta. We get along well. I decided to romance her and we had a lovely and fairly respectable time of flirting and making out.

Contrast with Guelph life. This is the sort of town in which I have the sort of life where, when I come back, my friends tell me about the orgies they had, who has made out with my crushes, and who my ex has been sleeping with. Most of what I have to talk about is church camp. It's different. I went to this thing called Gay on the Green yesterday which is an orientation week event and it was kind of nice for a while, but then I saw Melody and her entourage rolling in on the other side of the picnic and I sort of flipped my shit and peaced. Like whoa. I didn't expect it to bother me but I think I'm just afraid of them.

So many people I don't understand or trust. I need to keep myself focused and engaged in life with good people. I'd like to have some sort of drama detox this fall. I live with a really wonderful woman from Montreal and I'm looking forward to getting to know her.

This blog is intended for close friends to keep tabs on me while I am gone. I am always gone from somewhere, these days. I keep busy but am unsettled.

I'm going back to Guelph in a couple days, back to my new apartment. Downtown student chic. Late night skateboarding in the expanse of parking lot. The view of a building's wall out my window. Some friends that make me nervous. Some not-friends who make me nervous. Difficult economics classes that make me nervous.

I am not nervous about my bicycle rides to school or to see my grandmother again. I am not nervous about seeing people I went to India with.

In all this I suppose I can only really hope that within my friendships my transience provides the joy of broken monotony.